As you know, everything was being upturned and renovated - phew -- couldn't even see the floors let alone the desks.
Now, lets digress backwards slightly, the reason for all this ............
The building had settled a little, some cracks had appeared in the classroom walls and I wanted to 'bog' them up and paint over them, all seemed possible!
However in the process, as discussed earlier, we decided to swap the offices around, build a new clinic area in Daryll's and fix things up, what we thought to be a 1-2 day (5-6hrs day job) turned into a 5 person 22hr day X 8 days and that's before what got to the classroom!
Phew!
After 7 days, the offices were nearly finished.
We had cleaned up around 300 books - which (I digress again) was an interesting process in how we handle abundance and cling to things. Daryll decided to become ruthless and put them in massive piles telling me to op shop or eBay them, with a footnote, just check through in case you want to keep any.
I found myself saying - "wow, this is a treasure, this is really valuable, you can't toss this one out", favourites like Esoteric Healing by Alice Bailey were even in the pile.
I realised my own resistance to change and my own difficulty in letting things go were coming up for me to look at again.
I pondered what it was that was hitting resistance within myself and waht other blocks were holding me back from my own peaceful letting go.
I recognised that I still wanted to read or reread so many of them, which brought on another discussion about our need to cling to things and 'hoard / keep them' for ourselves.
In this very nature is the blockage to our own freedom, our own ability to soar with life and lifes changes.
How much we resist and we must ask ourselves how much can we let go and purely trust in the universe.
As I sat there surrounded by books I closed my eyes and allowed the imagery to come in.
Myself as a young girl emerged, sitting alone in my bedroom (I am an only child) surrounded by books, clutching them to my chest as if they were my only friends in the world. I realised my own inner child was the one facing the trauma of letting go, feeling like if I let go this time, then I may have not only no one to be with, but also nothing to comfort me.
In my mind, my adult self took the hand of my child and said "I am here now, you don't need to be alone any more, I will love you and be your friend and you don't need these things they are just possessions".
I opened my eyes and looked around at the room (swamped in 'stuff') and thought, "right! I really don't need any of this, I simply haven't got the time to read these right now and when I do find the time, I will trust that I will find the book in a 2nd hand store at a terrific price right when I want it. It is time for someone else to read these now and benefit from them".
I chose about 5 that I should manage to read over the next few weeks and up the rest of the piles went, next to my house computer to be offered to friends/clients/students/eBay very soon.
Back to the cleaning at hand...........
Daryll's office was now finished and looking beautifully simple, with his medical reference books, lovely fresh massage table looking out the window into the rose garden and massive canvas picture of dappled light streaming through a forest on the other wall - lovely!
My office desks were swamped under stuff, but the room was set up and the floor was clean.
I ventured into the classroom / showroom. As I stood there I became aware of a shaky energy feeling.
I felt into it, wondering if it was a clients energy, but no, it was actually the building, it felt shaky, unsettled, disrupted. In a room that's always peaceful and serene this struck me as really odd.
I felt into the chi (energy) of the building and observed the entire building felt shaky, the energy said "enough, stop, leave us alone for a while".
I realised that the changes I had put in place were too much, too concentrated, too rapid, it felt like too much change had happened in too short a time and like people the chi of an environment can become disturbed, exhausted and depleted.
I decided that that was it, enough was enough, I would thoroughly clean the entire centre, but no more renovating would occur.
I went home and told Daryll about my findings, he stopped and came down to the centre to feel the chi returning shortly with "yes, well observed, you are correct it is exactly how the building is feeling".
We tumbled into bed - currently 3am!
Now comes the night that every parent (unfortunately) knows at some stage or another...................
3.15am - Tiny pitter pats of feet come down the hallway and into our bedroom, a tiny hand touches my arm and whispers "Mummy". Too tired to walk her back to bed, I pull back the covers for her to slide in and she whispers, "I can't Mummy, I've had a tiny accident". Ohhhhh.......................... (drats!)
"OK, darling, what type of accident?"
"I've had a little vomit Mummy"
It's that moment as a parent, where you know, there is no way possible you can ignore it, you must get up RIGHT NOW and deal with this, there's a sinking feeling when you wake up, then you realise you are so tired that you do a funny little dance round in circles on the floor as your reeling head tries to keep up with where your body is. By the time you get to the door your body has somehow caught up with your head and you manage to walk in a straight line.
Any parent that has done this dance, realises you must NEVER pick up the child (apart from the fact you'll inevitably pick up the only part that is thoroughly covered in vomit), reeling away it would be downright dangerous, you take their little hand (because goodness knows THEY aren't tired) and walk back to the room.
Expecting a tiny puddle I flick on the lights and it takes a few minutes for the sheer magnitude of what has taken place to really sink in.
Surely this is not my darling daughters room, surely there has been an exorcism that has taken place here with blood letting and sacrificial offerings, surely there has been a party for 165 teenagers in this room in the past 15 minutes since I checked on her.
Alas, no! She has managed in 1 movement to vomit on the wall behind her head, the roof and the far wall, narrowly missing her favourite lampshade, the toys, pillows, fuzzy dog, clothing laid out for the next day and the roof are not so lucky - they are all covered!
I step into the room to survey the damage, only to slowly look down as something cold squishes through my toes - urrrgggghhh! Yuk!
Just for a brief second, I contemplate walking to the front door of the house, getting in my car and escaping to a hotel somewhere tropical, but no, it must be done.
Her bed is filled like a swimming pool and I realise I need reinforcements - "go and get Daddy honey, tell him Mummy just wants to show him something". She smiles and pads off, I can't really remember Daryll's reaction but I know the words "Oh, my God" crept in there.
We bundle her up on the couch and by 4am we are all back in bed - ahhhh!
4.15am - pitter pat - nooooooooo "Mummy" a tiny voice whispers "I've had a different type of accident"
4.45am - all clothing washed and soaking from terrible number 2's everywhere, bed changed again, tiny person back in bed
5.15am, I hear the becket being filled again - Oh yes, this time it was right beside her bed, poor little love!
6am - back in bed
7am - alarm clock goes off, busy day, finishing cleaning the centre - up a day!
I tiptoe to her room only to discover - not there!
A cold sweat washes over me as I (calmly) call to Daryll, we search everwhere and find her sound asleep in a bundle of blankets and wearing new clothes on the couch.
We look at each other - "why is she in new clothes?" Oh No!
Yes, she has filled her jammies from waistband to ankle and everything in between, including the bedroom floor.
Poor love, I won't go on, you get the idea!
By the afternoon darling son, has also come down with the runs, closely followed by the dog (who hasn't eaten anything but dog food)
Daryll and I are starting to feel a little queasy too.
We realise that we have stirred up the chi of the environment too much. Daryll chats with me about how a building can also have a healing crisis caused by too much letting go.
Interestingly, the bodies of the house seemed to have no troubles in letting go (quite a bit too much for my liking thank you).
I realise how children and pets can so often be the barometers for what is occurring in the energy field around them. There little bodies are such sensitive instruments to detect changes in the chi.
We went to the centre and performed a blessing, settled the chi and assured the building there would be no more changes, just cleaning up, the chi of the building immediately settled and the children came good (& the dog) within the hour.
It is interesting how as we release ties that bind us, how our body can often have the same releasing effect.
All beneficial no doubt, but like all things - required in moderation.
Here I am the first time I have had time to blog........... the offices are lovely, the packing room is lovely, the kitchen bathroom and classroom are lovely.
The chi is just starting to quiet down and the environment really feels like it needs a well deserved rest.
I won't be working in here tomorrow, like a hard working staff member, environments and buildings also need time to rest, reflect and recuperate.
There is a sense of gratitude in the building, we made a point of leaving at 4pm today (taking the kids to the movies, dinner out) and then returning for the last minute cleaning this evening.................
Ahhhhh, peaceful release!
Your affirmation for the day:
I am 100% willing and able to release my need for keeping my imbalances on all levels.
I look forward to hearing what comes up for you
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